IF YOU ARE SUICIDAL OR THERE IS IMMEDIATE RISK OF HARM CALL 000.

If you want to speak to a professional, call one of the great services listed 24/7.

At #talk2mebro, we are not counsellors or mental health workers. If you want to speak to a professional, call one of the great services listed. It is crucial to seek professional help if you aren’t feeling well. If you are having suicidal thoughts, please contact emergency services 000 immediately.

If you are concerned that someone is struggling or might be thinking about suicide and you aren’t sure how to talk to them, call Lifeline on 13 11 14. One of their trained Crisis Supporters will be there to listen and support you.

HOW TO PREPARE FOR A TOUGH CONVERSATION

If you are concerned about your bro, you need to talk to him. Having tough conversations can often be confronting and anxiety provoking. Remind yourself that this conversation has the potential to save a life. If you see a friend/loved one/stranger who may be struggling – say talk2mebro.

Some things to remember before you start the conversation:

Before You Start a Difficult Conversation, Prepare Yourself

• Are you in a good state of mind? Do you have time to listen?
• If they’re not ready to talk or don’t want to talk to you, are you ok with that?
• If you ask them how they’re doing, are you prepared for the answer to be ‘not good’? Make sure you look after yourself, too.
• Be yourself. You don’t have to be a counsellor or a doctor, just you.

Have a Time and Place in Mind

• Good conversations can happen anywhere, but there are a few places where guys might feel more comfortable talking.
• Get out to talk it out.
• Shoulder to shoulder – whether it’s a shared hobby or just watching tv, some guys will find it easier to talk while they’re doing something, instead of face-to-face.
• Online – sometimes it’s easier to start an open conversation via text or chat instead of in person.

Start with What You’ve Seen

• You might have noticed that he’s spending more time at the pub, coming into work late, or missing social events. Maybe mention some of the things you’ve noticed about him lately.

“You seem a bit stressed these days. Is anything up?”

• Don’t be put off if he tries to avoid your questions or brush them off.

“It’s all good, I’m fine.”

If You Still Think Something’s Up, You Might Want to Try a Few Different Ways to Get Him Talking

• How he’s feeling might be because of specific things happening in his life, like changes at work, a break-up, or fatherhood. It can help to give a little, share what’s going on in your own life.

“Work sounds tough at the moment. Does it feel that way for you?”

• He may not be ready to talk. In this case, make sure he knows you’re there for him and that you care. It can also help to let him know that it’s ok not to be ok.

“Give me a call if you ever want to chat.”

This May Seem Daunting, but You Won’t Make Things Worse by Asking Directly

• Let him know that he’s not a burden and ask him specifically if he’s thought about suicide.

“Are you having thoughts about suicide?”

• Listen to what he says
• Listen and let him know you hear what he’s saying.
• The most important thing is to listen. If he’s open to talking, make sure you don’t interrupt.

“No matter what’s bothering you, I’m all ears.”

Don’t Try to Diagnose His Problems, Offer Solutions or Give Advice

• He might just need some help in telling his story.
• Take what he says seriously, and don’t judge him or how he’s reacting to whatever’s going on in his life. Don’t diminish or dismiss what he’s feeling.
• There’s a few simple things you can do to encourage him to keep talking. Try nodding, asking open-ended questions, or asking about things he’s said.

“How long have you felt that way?”

Encourage Action

• You don’t have to know all the answers, but you can explore with him some of the options he might have.
• You could ask him about the things he used to enjoy or encourage him to consider talking to others around him.

“Do you think you might let your partner know about this?”

• If you think he needs more, encourage him to see a doctor or another professional.

“There’s no shame in talking to a doctor. I can come with you if that would help.”

Check Back in with Him

• Keep in touch with where he’s at and make a plan for the future.
• Set a reminder for yourself to send him a message or give him a call. You could suggest catching up in-person, grab a bite to eat or do something together. Try not to make vague future plans – pick a time and commit.

“Let’s go to that new place that opened up. How does Sunday sound?”

• When you check back in with him, make sure he knows you’re there when he needs you.

“I want you to know I’ve got your back, you’re not in this alone.”